Coping with life challenges is difficult, Sr. Dunia Shuaib shares some tips on dealing with stress & worry from an Islamic & practical approach. This article is from her same talk at ICNA convention.
There are so many reasons why we are sad. Every single one on this planet has one test or the other.
Remember, this world is not perfect everyone here are destined to be tested the test may vary from hunger and poverty, Sickness and disease, family problems to social problems, career problems to financial problems the list goes on and on.
This makes us fearful sad or anxious while people do not like to admit they are undergoing any of these emotions, know that it is perfectly okay it is perfectly human to experience these emotions.
Sadness and anxiety natural emotions that we are born with. Which our creator has put in us when he created us.
These emotions are not only restricted to normal human being is but also great people who have tread the Earth in past. Yes, many great people in the past have had experience these emotions in their lives when they were subjected to certain kind of test.
Like prophet Jacob, Who was so emotional upon separation from his beloveds son prophet Yousuf that his eyes had turned white Due to excessive crying in remembrance of his son.
And another example is of mother Mary that she at the time of delivery had become so anxious she wished to die and that she was long forgotten Bye her people.
A lady who was known to have perfected her faith, a lady who obtained the status of the best woman in the world of her times, if she could become anxious and sad where do you and I stand.
So experiencing these emotions are totally normal but at the same time you have to remember no one ever will be or have been in past Tested with more than he or she could bear. And in the book of guidance the Koran ALLAH la mentioned ALLAH will not burden a soul more than he or she could bear.
This fact should bring you relief that you are strong, you are capable of and you are qualified to take up this test of ur life. And the fact that this test was given to only you and not to your friends on anyone in your family is a proof that you are strong enough to handle this test and not your family or friend so do not ever underestimate your abilities and be sure that your God your Rabb your Lord knows how strong and how resilient he has created you. you may not know this but your god does.
So whatever test you are going thru, because of It you will certainly experience sadness or anxiety or depression or negative thought and in order to overcome this or in order to better deal with this emotion C the Islamic way of dealing.
By following the steps you can help yourself or encourage someone else who is experiencing these emotions remember your trials are something unavoidable to which you cannot do anything but surely most definitely you can change your approach you can change your reaction to dealing with that trial.
Tips on dealing with stress:
1. Breathe:
Keep one of your hand on the chest and another hand on your stomach standstill close your eyes and breathe in to the count of five hold your breath till five counts and then slowly exhale with the count of five do this for five times. This is a very simple exercise doing which will change the way you feel and this has been proven by science that certain type of breathing affects the way you feel.
2. Turning to Your Creator:
Muslims do it thru Salah, Quran and Dua. Many studies have proof that prayer lesson the feeling of depression and anxiety. Whenever Prophet Muhammad would be disturbed he would rush to prayer (SALah) which includes worship supplication and recitation in it. sALAH Is s gift of ALLAH to his prophet Muhammad and Thru him a gift to the mankind, which Muslims so compulsorily 5x a day every day + voluntarily more salah if they wish to. Salah is an act in which you connect to the higher self – your creator, you leave aside everything and begin your conversation with your rabb the one who created you, You can pour your heart out and lighten your self from the worries. .It is also a highest level of meditation. (Want to know how Muslims pray and how they pray? click here) in Salah you make supplication for examples- chapter 1 the opening is obligatory in muslims prayer without which the prayer is in complete – it is a complete supplication which means ; first you are praising god, singling him out , making him the only one who you worship and seek help from , admitting he is your creator. And then asking his help asking him for guidance and light of true path – the path on which rightest and pious people in the past have walked to attain success and also to seek protection from following the path of those who went astray and who were termed as failures.
Now as you are reading this why not do an exercise right now. Close your eyes and recollect the very decent moment of your experience which was unpleasant which caused you fear , worry and anxiety or sadness perhaps it was the fear of losing your loved one, Or the worry of future when losing your job or the anxiety of not passing in the exam or failing in the job interview or sadness of ending of your marriage, or it could also be something related to your health and disease. Now as you recollect your worry full situation with your eyes closed remember the words of Koran where ALLAH says “call upon me and I will surely respond to you”, so think off your worry and ask your God to remove that which is causing you unpleasantness and know that you are talking to your creator and who is right now listening to you and right now over you. prophet Muhammad saww said ALLAH is too shy to turn you away emtihanded and he is generous enough that He will give you more than what you have asked for. The key here is that you should ask that without a single doubt in mind and heart because Allah said I am as my slave think of me so be positive and be sure that your God is going to give you what you are asking and that will give you what is best for you. prophet Muhammad saaw used to duplicate to ALLAH IN morning n evening For anxiety and depression.
Hadeeth prophet Muhammad saaw told a man about this prayer “o ALLAH I Refuge in you from anxiety and sadness from inability and laziness from cowardice and miserliness and from overwhelming by debts and that people may overpower me” and That man told he did this recommendation and Allah eased my anxiety and burden of debt. Muslims are blessed to have been gifted by their God ALLAH with the Koran WHICH IS ALOSO CALLED AS HEALING of the heart. Connect with Quran even if it means to read a verse daily- contemplate on the meaning of this verse by asking yourself what my god is trying to tell me thru it.
3. Look for the Good:
Everyone of us no matter how bad or worse I will situation is still have good things happening in our life but the devil makes us all when you called is good and Ross I will focus and attention to only that which is happening at all with us. It is very easy to get tempted to find negative happening in your life but change yourself to look for the good and found you on the blessings in your life. See how beautiful is this world and think you are able to see this beauty because of you 2 eyes – ask yourself new trading with your eyesight the current trials you’re going to? Are you willing to give your eyesight and choose to be blind rest of your life in exchange of that test being taken away from you? you wont, you will silly never. Like this there are so many things in your life which you are overlooking take for instance your breathe hold on for one minute without breathing are you able to? The fact that you are taking in oxygen right now is a guarantee that you are alive and what more of a blessing do you need other than your life, as long as you have life you have chance , you have opportunity to make things right in your life. Remember one time or the other your life will be back to normal, But once you die you will not have this chance and be grateful to what I will good you are having in your life.
There are countless studies thar practising gratitude does wonders for mental and emotional health and this also helps especially with depression and anxiety. When we practice gratitude we increase that the dopamine level in brain which is responsible for making us happier. You may be saying now that it is impossible to practice gratitude or take thinks positively when everything around is happening all wrong then remember the words of Prophet Muhammad who said that no fatigue no hardship no sadness not even a prick of thorn happens to a believer that some of his sins are expiated. So when ever you are finding it hard to be grateful then be conscious of the fact that by undergoing this test your sins are being washed away and also remember the words of ALLAH “wa in shakartum lazeedannakum” And if you are grateful I shall increase you” so the simplest recipe to bring abundance in your life is by showing gratutude to your Rabb.
4. Smile:
Many studies have been suggesting that even if one is forced to smile it leads to change in one’s mood, when you smile or expand your lips your facial muscles expand this gives a signal to your brain that something good or pleasant is happening there by leading you to a better mood. In Islam, it is a charity to smile at another person which naturally makes the other person smile. Now you don’t know his situation – he may be having a tough time and must have forgotten to smile let alone laughter. you smiling at him and him smiling back to you will give his brain the signal of a pleasant situation, thereby releasing dopamine/serotonin in your brain – same the enzyme which is released when you eating a chocolate so indirectly you’re helping the person improve his mood. The same was 10 minutes videos to buy you remember a time when you were tensed answer then you came across a lovely child with innocent and a loving smile you automatically must’ve smiled back – how did you feel? The proverb had not just come like that “a smile is a simple curve that sets lots of things straight “ therefore Smile often and remember to spread a smile in the world as more n more people are in need of it and also know that the by uplifting others’ mood you are helping your self before them. Prophet Muhammad said do charity even if it is by smiling at your brother.
5. Be social:
We are social creatures, don’t exclude yourself from people and I don’t confine yourself to you. Reach out to people. A research said physical touch by someone you know or care about is as effective as antidepressants. Prophet Muhammad said your sins fall as you shake hands with others.
6. Reachout for Help:
Apart from all of this you should never shy away in reaching out to others or to seek help from health care professionals, if you can go to and see your doctor in case of a physical ailment why don’t you treat your mental state in the same way?
Also read: Benefits of doing Dhikr – remembering God.
