Men’s Gaze: ALLAH’s Command “Lower Your Gaze”

As I open up this conversation, my heart weighs heavy with concern over a topic that has lingered in my thoughts for quite some time – the challenge of men’s attraction to women and the profound directive from Allah to “Lower Your Gaze.” Witnessing sisters becoming victims of their husbands’ wandering eyes and observing men succumbing to the allure of this sin deeply saddens me.

This message is a direct plea to my brothers in Islam – those who acknowledge their wrongdoing in disobeying Allah and infringing upon the rights of their wives. It’s also a call to those who may not recognize the fault in gazing at other women, defending themselves with claims of innocence, saying, “I don’t look with lustful intent,” and asserting immunity from its effects. But let’s have a heart-to-heart conversation – can we truly know ourselves better than Allah knows us?

Brother, when you react defensively to your wife expressing discomfort, reflect on the guidance of the Messenger of Allah, who unequivocally stated, “In this world, women and perfume have been made dear to me…” Allah, in the Quran, reinforces this sentiment, proclaiming, “Beautified for men is the love of things they covet – women…” (Surah Ale Imran 3:14). If you think you are immune to their effects, consider the words of Dr. Zakir Naik, who as a doctor says, “Men are made to be attracted to women; if you say you are not attracted, that means you have some problem and must see a doctor.”

Are you disobeying ALLAH?

For those who claim adherence in public spaces but falter in the digital realm, remember that Allah’s directive to lower the gaze applies universally – in the physical and virtual world. The Quran urges believers (Surah An-Nur 24:30-31): “Tell the believing men to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is acquainted with what they do. And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts…”

Choosing the path of disobedience jeopardizes your hereafter. Reflect on the words of the Messenger of Allah, who said, “The eyes also commit adultery, and their adultery is the lustful look” (Sahih al-Bukhari). Allah, in His mercy, allows men to marry up to four wives lawfully. If dissatisfaction exists, seek lawful alternatives, but refrain from the grave sin of disobedience. If content with your wife, resist the greed to look outside. By being attracted to other women, you invite Allah’s anger upon yourself. Have mercy on yourself, dear brother.

Are you willing to change?

If you’re willing to change, start by seeking Allah’s forgiveness. Commit to abstain from this sin. Trim unnecessary phone usage, cut off subscriptions, engage in extra prayers and fasting, moderate your habits, immerse yourself in knowledge, and strengthen your connection with the Quran. Plead with Allah to help you limit your gaze to your wife alone and seek blessings in your marriage and life.

May Allah, in His infinite mercy, guide us on the path of righteousness and protect us from the pitfalls of disobedience.

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